


I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter

by agirlintheville



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4127256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlintheville/pseuds/agirlintheville
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Clint grasped the hand, feeling the man’s strength as he pulled. For a brief moment, all he could think was how ridiculously hot this entire situation was, like hot professor having an illicit meeting with a student in an alley hot. But he couldn’t say that out loud, that would be creepy. He was also sure that staring at the guy was also beginning to be creepy, so he said, “I didn’t know professors could fight like that.”-</p><p> </p><p>Clint tries to help a stranger during a street fight, but ends up being the one who needs help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter

Gasping from a sucker punch to the stomach, Clint watched the rest of the fight from the ground.

The curly haired man (who looked like an honest to god super cute professor) flipped one guy to the ground and then spun to land a kick to the other guy’s leg. Another few minutes, and both guys were stumbling towards the alley entrance, pushing at each other in their haste to get away. The man chased after them in order to literally kick one of them in the ass. Then he turned and walked back towards Clint, smoothing his button down shirt and running his hands through his hair.

“Hey,” he panted slightly, “are you okay?”

“Uh…maybe I should be asking you that question?” Clint squinted up at him.

“Me?” he asked surprised. “I’m fine. You’re the one on the ground.” He considered Clint for a second, and then reached a hand down in an offer to help him up.

Clint grasped the hand, feeling the man’s strength as he pulled. For a brief moment, all he could think was how ridiculously hot this entire situation was, like hot professor having an illicit meeting with a student in an alley hot. But he couldn’t say that out loud, that would be creepy. He was also sure that staring at the guy was also beginning to be creepy, so he said, “I didn’t know professors could fight like that.”

“Professors?” The man raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you look like a professor,” Clint waved his hand to indicate the man’s rumpled button down and now stained khakis. Then he frowned, “You’re not a professor?” Oh no, fantasies crumbling.

The man glanced down at his clothing. “Ah, no. I’m-" and broke off at the sudden bleat of a police siren.

They watched the police car slowly roll down the alley towards them. The officer slid out from behind the wheel. “Bruce.”

“Sam. I mean, Officer Wilson.” The man tried to smooth down his hair again, but Clint privately thought it was a lost cause. A deliciously fluffy and arousing lost cause. “I didn’t start it this time."

Sam chuckled, “You never start it, you just finish it. That’s why Romanoff is sitting on two punks who say a librarian beat the shit out of them.”

“You’re a librarian?” Clint asked. That was pretty hot too; he began to picture ink stained fingers, consequences for returning books late.

“What? No.” Dammit. Well, never mind.

“Are you alright sir?” Clint turned to see the officer’s sharp gaze on him.

“I’m fine. I think.” Clint took an experimental step and felt himself sway slightly. Banner quickly reached out to steady him.

“He might need medical treatment. He landed on the ground pretty hard.”

“Hmm.” Tilting his head, Wilson spoke quickly into his radio and nodded at the answering squawks. He then took a notebook out of his pocket and waved towards the ground, “Why don’t we have a seat and you can tell me what happened here?”

Clint was about to insist on staying upright, but then his legs buckled as the adrenaline rushed out of him. Both Bruce and Sam caught him and helped him back down to the ground.

“Ugh,” Clint muttered as he put his head on his knees. He felt Bruce kneel next to him and begin patting his back soothingly. He arched into the hesitant touch as his grumblings changed into a soft purr. What? He wasn’t going to turn down a backrub from a…an accountant, maybe?

After a small surprised chuckle, Banner began to relay the events to the officer, who crouched down and began to write. “I was on my way to get coffee when those two guys pulled me in here and tried to take my wallet. This guy…” he paused, “hey, what’s your name?”

“Clint. A little to the left please,” he mumbled, wriggling his left shoulder.

Another pause, another chuckle, and Bruce began to rub his left shoulder. “Clint must have heard the noise because he came running down the alley and tried to help me out.”

“Couldn’t let an accountant get beaten up. Just not right.”

“An accountant?” Clint heard the grin in Wilson’s voice.

“It was a professor earlier,” Bruce informed him.

Clint shrugged, “Accountant is a step up.”

“How so?”

“Sexier. Numbers and calculators and stuff.” There was a silence above his head, though the hand rubbing his back never stopped. Oh. He said that out loud. At least he didn’t mention the whole ties and suits attraction.

He cleared his throat, and looked up at the officer, determinedly not looking Bruce. “You know. Like Ben Wyatt.”

Clint saw the grin this time, wide across the man’s face. “From Parks and Rec?”

“Yep, you got it!” Clint nodded enthusiastically and then winced. “My head kinda hurts.”

“Yeah, I think he might need to go a hospital,” Bruce sounded concerned. Clint felt a small thrill run through his bones and shivered in reaction. Bruce wrapped an arm around his shoulders and briefly hugged him. He was in heaven, Clint was sure of it.

Wilson spoke into his radio again. “EMTS are already with Romanoff, checking over those guys. She’ll send them our way.”

Clint put his head back down as the two men continued to talk above him. They clearly knew each other and were discussing something about a hulk and his next appearance. He absently put together that they were talking about a fighter on the local MMA circuit, which Clint watched sometimes. Ripped guys in little shorts fighting, it was completely awesome.

He had heard that Hulk was one of the best, though he had never seen him fight in person. He let their voices distract him from the pain in his head and soon he heard another voice coming towards them.

“Sam! I hear you have a patient for me.”

“Steve! I didn’t know you were back from your trip!”

“Just back in yesterday and was immediately told to come to work.” Clint raised his head to see a really buff and blond EMT kneel next to them and begin to unlatch his medical kit. “Was gonna call you but I was sure I’d run into you on shift.”

Sam smirked, “Yeah, well, I usually need your assistance out here.”

“Omg, are you two flirting?” Both men startled and looked towards him, Sam still smirking and the EMT blushing. Oh no, that had been out loud too.

Banner, who was now sitting next to him and still rubbing his back, frowned at him. “Did you just say omg?”

“I have nieces and nephews,” Clint explained. “You know,” he turned back to the EMT, “I think I’m fine.”

“Well, lemme just make sure,” Steve said after a quick glance at him.

Sam and Bruce stood and stepped away to continue talking as Steve looked him over quickly but thoroughly. Finally, he said, “Okay, you’re going to be just fine. You have a slight headache, probably from a little dehydration and the excitement. I’m going to wrap up your wrist though, looks like you sprained it. But no concussion, no broken bones. I’d say you lucked out have a MMA fighter on your side during a street fight.”

“Who’s a MMA fighter?” Clint watched as the bandage wound around his wrist.

“Bruce,” Sam and Steve absently chorused.

Clint blinked at them, then at Bruce. Bruce shifted his weight a little and smiled at Clint.

“So…not a professor?” Clint asked as Steve finished and began to pack up his things.

Bruce shook his head, still smiling as Clint slowly stood and walked towards him. He stopped in front of Bruce and put his hands on his hips.

“Or an accountant? Or a librarian?”

“Not those either.”

“But I watch that stuff…I would have remembered you.”

Now Bruce looked a little embarrassed, running his hands through his hair again. “My fights are pretty selective…I don’t know if you would have seen…I’m the Hulk?”

“You’re the Hulk? But he’s one of the best, total rage attack, no holds barred…,” he trailed off and shook his head. “This is so hot that I don’t even know what to think.”

“Hot? Really?” Bruce straightened up, pleased.

“Shit, did I say that out loud? God dammit, I’m having a problem today.”

“Sounds like it,” Bruce chuckled. “But seriously, hot? I mean, really?”

“You don’t think so?”

“It’s just…the things you thought I was…they were all kind of white collar jobs? Professionals? I’m…uh I’m not? And when I’m not fighting, I’m training people to fight?”

Clint waved his unbandaged hand breezily, “That was just me trying to judge from your clothing, that didn’t mean anything. In fact-“ He broke off suddenly as a thought occurred to him. “You’re a MMA fighter.”

“Ah, yes.”

Clint closed his eyes. “So it was perfectly stupid of me to try and save you from those guys, huh?”

“Well-,” But Clint rushed to explain so he wouldn’t have to hear Bruce’s agreement.

“I just, you know, saw those guys drag you in here and it looked like you might need help. But you totally didn’t. God, I feel dumb. And I couldn’t even get a broken limb out of it, just a sprained wrist. I swear, I’m not usually this bad at fighting. Please believe me.”

Clint opened his eyes and looked beseechingly at Bruce. Bruce was grinning at him, brown eyes soft and clear.

“To be fair, I might have needed help and you coming in definitely distracted them. Plus, I thought you handled yourself pretty well. And…” Bruce tilted his head and lightly trailed his fingers over Clint’s bandaged wrist, “I thought it was kinda brave for you to just jump in like that.”

Clint watched Bruce’s long fingers as tingles shot up his arm. “Brave, huh?”

Bruce stepped closer, and now Clint could feel the warmth radiating off his body. “Dashing, even.”

Clint felt his face heat. “I dunno about dashing.”

“I do.” Bruce’s fingers skimmed up his arm, and Clint was definitely going to have trouble breathing in a minute. He wondered if Steve was still here, you know, in case he fainted.

“No worries. I’d catch you. Provide mouth to mouth if needed,” Bruce said softly

It was the softness of his voice that did it. Now the images came- Bruce all in his Hulk fighting gear, showing Clint exactly how to do those holds that they do in the octagon, hands running all over him. Clint whimpered, “Oh my god.”

Bruce leaned back. “Too much?” he asked worriedly.

“Nope, nope, not too much, just…” Clint took a deep breath. “Nope.”

Bruce looked at him closely, and then smiled again. “Listen, we actually have to go down to the station to make a report. And I think Sam and Steve are ready to wrap all this up.”

Clint glanced over and saw the uniformed men leaning against the hood of the police car. Steve’s chin was hooked onto Sam’s shoulder and they were both smirking in his direction. Clint scowled back, which made them start laughing. Another light brush of fingers brought his attention back to Bruce.

“I never did get my coffee. Do you want to join me after we help put two punks in jail?”

“I’d absolutely love to.”

Bruce grinned and crooked his arm for Clint to lean against as they walked towards the police car.

“Dashing huh?”

He felt Bruce nod. “Practically heroic.”

“Alright, I can live with that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hang with me on [tumblr ](http://unnaturalnoise.tumblr.com) and leave me prompts!


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